You fell in love for a reason. It is important to take steps to keep that “loving feeling”. When you first fell in love, you were most likely blinded to any of their flaws; and they were blinded to yours as well. Now that you have been together for some years those flaws have been exposed, yet you still love them. All is not lost, in fact the relationship can grow stronger as you work through some rough patches, given the right attitude and a willingness to make some compromises. Any relationship worth having is worth working for. Yes, a good loving relationship does take work, and not just from one individual. The following are some tips to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.
1. Tell them you love them first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
2. Visualize yourself in a healthy, happy relationship.
3. Surprise – surprise them with thoughtful gifts or actions (for no other reason than you want to do something special for them). A surprise shouldn’t only be on those special days (anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s Day, etc.), but randomly to let them know you think they are special all the time.
4. Don’t take your partner for granted. Let them know that you appreciate what they do. Praise a great meal or if they fix the clogged sink, etc…
5. Make the bedroom inviting and romantic. Use candles and low lighting to help get in the mood, some romantic music playing in the background. The bedroom is the most important room in a healthy relationship; don’t make it the catch-all for the rest of the house (a cluttered bedroom leads to a cluttered relationship). Keep the room uncluttered and preferably keep the television and computer out of the bedroom.
6. Don’t insist on winning every argument, you don’t have to get the last word in, every time. Try to understand their point-of-view, by being a good listener. Say “You’re Right” on occasion.
7. Be happy – Be involved in things other than with your partner. You are responsible for your own fulfillment and happiness. This will relieve some of the pressure and stress from your partner. Being happy as an individual will improve your happiness as a couple.
8. Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship. Jealousy will push your partner away; you should be secure in your relationship if it is founded on love and trust.
9. Give each other some alone time. That may mean taking the kids out for an outing and letting your partner have some time alone.
10. Schedule dates on a regular basis. Line up the baby-sitter, if you have children, on a regular basis, and make time for together time.
11. Write love notes to your partner and place them in unique places (bathroom mirror, pillow, car visor).
12. Hold hands in public. This is an easy one, that many couples fail to do.
13. Put their picture in your wallet and show people -- just like you would your children’s pictures.
